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Legendary aging New Age improvisational superstar pianist George Winston, peeved at the soporific effect his music was having on the audience, took a sledgehammer to his piano, asked, "Happy now?" and got a standing ovation.

12/27/2011

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I once knew a girl who always wore a silver dress. She was petite--a little thin, but cute. She had big wide eyes and a puckered mouth, which gave her a permanently baffled look. Her name was Anne. Anne Chovy.

12/27/2011

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On You Tube you can see and hear Frank Sinatra's version of the George Harrison-penned Beatles classic "Something," in which he says, "You stick around, Jack, it may show." (No joke.)

12/26/2011

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A Chinese friend of mine who was locked up in solitary confinement for asking someone a question on a bus figured out how to pass the time in prison, by reciting the Chinese alphabet song to himself.

12/26/2011

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I've lived in this city for over five and a half years now, and I know it as well as the Chinese alphabet, which is to say, not at all.

12/26/2011

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How much would someone have to pay you in order for you to agree to have a corporate logo emblazoned on every object you owned and tattooed on the faces of everybody you knew and met (don't worry--only you'd be getting paid)?

12/26/2011

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It's a good thing for the repressive corporate and governmental structures being built all around us that so many of us are such unabashed exhibitionists. I wonder if our spies ever get annoyed by so many flagrant displays of political irrelevance.

12/26/2011

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One day an eagle ate some psylosibin mushrooms and tried to carry off a tree to his nest. A bunch of other birds stood and regarded him with muffled laughter, trying to think of sad things to stop themselves from laughing.

12/26/2011

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I'll bet if you were a tree you would get sick to your stomach every time you heard the snarling roar of a chainsaw. How and what would you puke? Big puddles of pulp, no doubt from a squirrel's garage door.

12/26/2011

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I looked up the etymology of "web log." It turns out to be what a rare African spider the size of a gorilla uses to build her home.

12/26/2011

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    I teach English in South Korea, the greatest country in the world, just south of the worst country in the world.

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