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Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and no taste.

11/30/2011

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The junkie wheeled and dealed and wheedled needily for a needle, speedily feeding his vein and flooding his brain with insane pain.

11/30/2011

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For those of you who are curious about trying crystal meth, just remember that it rhymes with "pistol death." It's a great drug if you want to die young though.

11/30/2011

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Do you know if former Florida Congressman Alan Grayson is of any relation to millionaire Bruce Wayne's youthful ward Dick Grayson? I doubt it.

11/30/2011

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I wonder if a bat has ever shit on the Batmobile, and if so, why. Would a bat deem the Batmobile somehow disrespectful or blasphemous? You'd think he (or she) would be flattered.

11/30/2011

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How come James Bond never has to take the bus?

11/30/2011

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What if Chris Farley had been at the Last Supper? "'Eat this bread, for it is my body'? Young man, I'm not eating JACK SQUAT! Thanks to YOU, I've just lost my APPETITE!"

11/30/2011

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A little old lady called her husband's doctor and said, "Casper is making love to a tree." The doctor removed his glasses and said, "Your husband may be suffering from penile dementia."

11/30/2011

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When was the last time you wrote a letter by hand? Can you remember when you last listened to an album on a turntable? Or used a manual typewriter? Why am I asking you all these questions?

11/30/2011

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Continuing from the following entry: I mean, if you're going to smoke in public, go sit on a bench somewhere, or stand on a corner. That way the smoke will go straight up instead of behind you, making the magpies and pigeons cough.

11/30/2011

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    I teach English in South Korea, the greatest country in the world, just south of the worst country in the world.

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

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